I can’t sleep. Nights are the hardest for me. All she does is cry and cry. All I hear are her cries and whimpers throughout the night. I’ve tried sleeping pills, warm milk and even meditation. It’s like a record on repeat inside my head. The doctor says it will stop, eventually. How long is that? Days or weeks? Maybe months? I’ll go crazy. I feel like I’m already losing my mind. I just don’t know what to do anymore. My husband just sleeps through it all. He said he’s never heard her crying. She will start crying and I get up and go to her room. I’ll even sleep in the nursery and still, she cries. Maybe I’m not cut out for this. If I can’t do something simple as soothe my daughter, what am I capable of doing as a person? I’m her mother; I should be able to pick her up and calm her. Night after night, she cries and screams. I wish she could talk and just TELL me what she wants. One night, her cries and screams became so ear shattering that I couldn’t take it anymore. I jumped out of my bed and ran out the front door. I ran across the dirt road into the cemetery. I collapsed in front of an angel statue and begged my daughter to stop crying. I don’t know how to help her. I started crying as I clutched the newborn blanket my husband placed on our daughter’s grave. I then heard muffled voices coming behind me. I sat very still, listening. I saw two dark figures come around in front of me. The reached down and grabbed me. I started screaming and swinging my arms. When I opened my eyes, I was in a grey room with a big metal door with a small window. I was just in the cemetery. How did I get here? The dark figures were wearing white. They had me laying down on a table. When I tried to sit up, I noticed the straps holding down my arms and legs. “What’s going on? Where am I?” I screamed over and over. Then a man walked into the room. He was wearing a suit with a white lab coat. He removed his glasses. “Tracy, do you know where you are?” I looked at him confused. “How do you know my name? Where am I?” He walked over to the table and said, “Tracy, we’ve been over this. I am Dr. Nathan Aldonheimer. You are in the Greenbrooke Psychiatric Facility. You have been here for three weeks and five days. Do you remember what happened?” Tears began forming in my eyes. “Do I remember what happened? I was just in the cemetery. Why am I tied down?” Dr. Aldonheimer looked at me and replied, “ Tracy, you were brought in to my facility. Your husband checked you in. He reported that you are claiming to hear your daughter crying from beyond the grave.” I looked at the doctor and yelled, “I DO have a daughter!” He looked at me with sympathy. “Yes, you DID have a daughter. However, Tracy, your daughter passed before she was born. The cries are just in your head, my dear. I am so sorry.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Then the room was filled with cries and screams. “Do you hear that? That’s her! She needs me! I’m not crazy!” The doctor tilted his head at me then turned to the nurse. “Go calm down Ms. Davis. She’s been very disruptive lately. Tell her the crying and screaming needs to stop. She will get her medicine in the morning like everyone else.” The nurse left and she entered the room next to mine. I could hear the nurse calming down the lady through the air vent on the wall. The doctor turned to me and said, “Your treatment is almost complete. Let us help you.” I nodded. About a month later, I was discharged. I went home to a loving husband and a warm home. My whole family was there to greet me. We spent the day visiting and grilling. It was the best welcome home ever. After everyone left, I decided to take a bath. I was at ease. I finished and got into bed. I started drifting off to sleep. Then the ear shattering cries and screams woke me. I sat straight up. I got out of the bed and walked out the door. I crossed the dirt road to the cemetery following the cries. I walked up to my daughter’s headstone. I kneeled down and asked what she wanted from me. I fell asleep clutching that blanket. Cries and screams jolted me out of my slumber. When I looked around, I was in total shock. I was BACK in the facility. The door opened and it was the doctor. He took off his glasses and asked, “Tracy, do you know where you are?”
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