I didn’t want to go. I did anyway. I kept imagining what it would be like had you picked me. If it was me you were walking to and not away from. Speak now or forever hold my peace. I thought about it. I wanted to scream that she was making a mistake. I was the one for her. Maybe she wasn’t the one for me. The crowd of people were beginning to pile into the church. I had a gift for you but I couldn’t bring myself to hand deliver it. I put the newspaper wrapped gift on the table next to the rest of the gifts. You know it would be from me. You always liked the comics in the Sunday paper. I heard chatter and laughter coming from a set of double doors to the right. The door was slightly open. I saw your mother, your friends and you. I saw you in your wedding dress. You were stunning. Kicking myself to this day that it wasn’t me waiting at the altar for you. I turned to walk away when I heard the door open. Your friend shouted my name in excitement. She pulled me into the room where you were. “Look who came!” Bashful, I hung my head. I looked up when you said hello. You were smiling from ear to ear. For a moment, I thought it was for me. “Can you believe I’m actually getting married?” My heart sank. Of course it wasn’t for me. This was HER day. I was just a guest. I couldn’t speak. I just shook my head. I started to feel my hands shake and the room got dizzy. She noticed. I excused myself and walked out. That was close. I almost wanted to tell her how madly in love I was with her. I can’t do that to her though. I would never ruin something like that. She’s happy. Even if it isn’t with me. The crowd started to settle down as the wedding party was preparing for the ceremony. Should I sit down? Or stand in the back? The music started. Too late to sit down now. The double doors opened as the bridesmaids walked down the aisle. Then I saw her again. She was standing next to her father. She wasn’t smiling like she was before. She looked… sad. Before her father flipped her veil over, she saw me. My heart pounded and I felt my stomach twist into knots. Then I saw it. The same look she gave me not even a moment ago. The smile that stretched ear to ear and reached to her eyes. She was beautiful. I was broken. I felt the tears beginning to well up. I turned and walked out the door. I walked down the gravel road and leaned against my car. I unbuttoned the top buttons of my shirt. I felt claustrophobic. I needed to get out of there. I couldn’t watch the girl of my dreams marry the man of hers. I leaned over the top of my car and buried my face. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. I lifted my head and wiped the tears from my eyes. Now, I’m sitting in a bar and I’m feeling sorry for myself as I drink. Some sad country song is playing in the background and the sound of pool coming off to the right. I rest my head on my arm when I heard, “I’ll have what he’s having.” I picked my head up and there she was. Standing there was the girl of my dreams in a wedding dress. I’m speechless. She sat down and placed her hand over mine and said, “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t marry him. Not when my soulmate is sitting in this bar.”
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